Love

During an interview with Oprah, Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)  said that she asks herself every day "what do I really really really want?" She said you have to say 'really' three times or it doesn't work, haha. So in the mornings sometimes after my meditation I do a little writing in my journal. I write some affirmations and I just try to manifest some good things for myself. Sometimes I'll write the question down "what do I really really really want?".  My answer for today was that I want to be in love. Not in love like romantically. Just IN love. Like I want to be love and all about love and just in it completely. I want to be in love with life. I want to feel the way I've felt before when I was in love with someone except now, without the someone. If that makes any sense. (although...to be in love with someone who is also in love with me wouldn't hurt, haha) Do you ever just all of a sudden have an overwhelming feeling of love, for what appears to be no reason at all? Well I do. It happens now. In the last 6 months I've experienced it more than just a few times and every time I feel it, it's like the most amazing thing in the world. Not even kidding. It's like all of a sudden everything is ok and I know it's ok and I know it's going to be ok. All of a sudden I'm just filled with joy and I want to dance around or share some goodness of some kind with someone.

It happened today. I got exactly what I asked for. I don't know what it was...and maybe I shouldn't question it. Maybe it came to me because I had the guts to ask for it directly. I asked the Universe for love and it was given to me. As soon as I recognized it I whispered "thank you" and smiled and thought about how amazing it is.

I had a good day. No, a great day. A really freaking great day. All I did was force myself out of bed at 6:04am (4 mins past my scheduled wake up time) and struggle my way through the early morning and my new daily schedule. All I did was take a walk/run on the treadmill and do a few ab exercises. I stayed focused while I did my work this morning. I congratulated myself for accomplishing something and being ten times more productive than usual rather than focusing on the fact that I was actually running behind my schedule all day. I didn't dwell on the fact that I lost focus completely around 1:30pm and even took an unscheduled 20 minute nap at some point. The second half of my schedule didn't happen at all, but I can work on it. And I feel good about it all, the accomplishments and the unfinished tasks. I feel good about the fact that I received a nice little letter from Seattle in the mail today. I feel good about putting some letters of my own out into the world. I feel good about seeing my niece this afternoon and watching two of my nephews at their first ever baseball practice. I just feel good. I feel loved. I don't know if it's coming from within myself or not...but maybe it is. Maybe I'm finally realizing that I do love myself enough to keep working on becoming a better over all person. Maybe it was some love from the Universe or God or whatever name you would like to give. (These days I'm calling "it" the Universe.)

I'm so excited right now I could cry. Right now in this moment I am IN love. I am straight up right in the middle of it. I am love. I am feeling it and experiencing it and I couldn't be more thankful. I wish everyone could feel this every day. I want to feel it every day...that's what I'm working towards.

I'm sending some love your way via a giant *air hug* :o)

♥