Progress

Today I was having technical difficulties. All of a sudden my external hard drive wasn't working properly and I couldn't save my work to it.  At first I didn't know if the problem was with the hard drive, my computer or photoshop. In the past I would have had a major freak out...complete with chest pains and everything. I would have panicked over losing images I can never get back. I would have panicked and immediately thought about how I don't have the money to buy any new equipment right now. Then I would have been stressed out about money. The whole situation would have snow balled into a scene equivalent to sirens going off and red lights flashing and me curled up into a ball on the floor. Completely worn out from frustration and anxiety.

However, today none of that happened. Even though I found myself wanting to tell a friend that I hate computers...the truth is I wasn't really feeling like I hate computers, but in the past that's where I would have gone. I would have gone to that "I freaking hate it when..." place. So I ended up saying something like "I sort of feel an extreme dislike towards computers today"....which still wasn't true. Old habits die hard.

Anyway. Today when the problem first presented itself to me I just casually hit ok and tried again. I tried like three times. Then I typed the error message I was receiving into my search bar to see what I could find. I don't know what it is about forums and what not that look like a foreign language to me but they do... and they just look uninviting. I read a few things... some of the "help" had negative vibes to it...but I read it anyway. No one really had an answer to the problem they just tried to find something to blame it on. So I stopped reading because it wasn't helpful. Some people were blaming photoshop other people were blaming the mac's operating system. That's when I decided to do some of my own trial and error type things and realized that the problem was actually with the hard drive itself. So then I researched the hard drive I bought. I wasn't coming up with anything and that's when I posted my problem to good ol' facebook. One person responded with some information that I found to be helpful and caused me to learn a thing or two.

So far the issue has been solved, thanks to the help of my friend. I also would like to give some credit to my new attitude. Who knows where I'd be right now if I was still the same person I was last year. The kind of person who would panic first and breathe three days later, the kind of person that would look for something to blame and be mad at, the kind of person who couldn't just be in the experience. I did have a moment or two when I thought about how I really needed to get this editing done. I thought about how I had put it off for too long and today I finally sit down and try to push through it and I end up with technical problems. Go figure. I felt slightly bitter about the whole thing. That moment was brief though and I gave myself a pat on the back for not going down the rabbit hole. I've made some progress in this thing called life!

Honestly I kind of think what happened today was a good thing. Trying to solve this problem gave me something to really work on and it got my brain moving, it was challenging. Now that it's all taken care of I feel kind of rejuvenated and like I can totally get back to editing without any problems. Stimulation. It's exactly what I needed...because even though I love photography sometimes editing can be so incredibly mundane. I was working in slow motion. Now I think I can have the job done before the end of the night.

So today I'm going to be thankful for my friend and his help. I'm also going to thank the Universe for helping me out. For making it clear that sometimes when I feel like I'm in a slump I just need to find something a little more stimulating and challenging to do. For helping me when I had no clue how to help myself. And that, my friends is something to be happy about.

♥