Sunday

Today I'm feeling a pull. The pull to be somewhere else, to go, to experience something other than my current experience. Maybe it's the time change, maybe it's the itch to work in the garden, maybe it's the edge of spring I'm feeling. I don't feel like being a responsible adult right now. I don't feel like sorting out my student loan mess, I don't feel like working on a budget plan, I don't feel like cleaning my room, I don't feel like dusting, I don't feel like getting the oil changed in my car, I don't feel like worrying about health insurance, I don't feel like worrying about any of it.

What I do want is to ride on a ferris wheel, go to a beach where the water actually looks blue, I want a yard full of fresh fruit and veggies, I want to have a bbq, I want to see the mountains, I want to see a cow up close and personal, I want to dye my hair some crazy color, I want to wear sun dresses all day long, I want to eat ice cream, I want to see the sun rise and later I want to watch it set, I want to play in the rain, I want to go to a farmers market on Sunday, I want to have a picnic, I want to be surrounded by people I love who love me too, I want a fur ball of a kitten, I want to fly a kite, I want to see Mt. Rushmore and the Grand Canyon and the Redwoods, I want quiet but happy moments alone.

I just want to go. I want to run. I want to take a larger than life garbage bag and dump everything I have in it and then I just want to sit in the middle of my empty room and feel completely free.

Something is pulling me.

Something even stronger is pushing me back down.

I don't know what it is.

♥